Conan - season 4 in five minutes 
of glorious mayhem and 
laugh out loud WTF-ness!



There's always been one thing that I thought 
would never ever happen in a million years ... 
Kate Bush playing live again. 

Not only is she doing that this year but also, thanks to a 
dear friend, I get to go and see the show in September! 

Unreal and utterly fabulous! We've got seats on the 
balcony which is great, you get a sense of the whole 
spectacle so much better from up there and Kate 
being as theatrical as she is it's going to be 
an amazing show I'm sure.

slightly disappointed there was no material from the first 
four albums ("The Dreaming" is my favourite) but one can
 only assume there's a good reason for it - whether her 
voice can't handle the songs anymore or she 
simply didn't want to rake over old ground. 

The "Before The Dawn" show consists of a few individual songs 
("King Of The Mountain", "Joanni" etc.) before it launches 
into the "The Ninth Wave", the B-side of "Hounds Of Love". 

The songs are weaved into a continuous story about a shipwreck 
and a woman on the verge of drowning with a video screen, 
helicopter effects, lights, smoke and set pieces. Kate sounds 
absolutely stunning and the band & backing singers 
who double as actors are brilliant. 

I must admit I found her son Bertie's nasal voice extremely 
annoying and he is not a particularly great singer. 
There is a scene with him and his father which no amount 
of sympathy for the Bush family will save - it's just naff 
apart from the last two minutes when Kate 
pops up behind the door.

The light effects all through the show deserve a special 
mention, they work beautifully with the songs.

After the interval it's time for "A Sky Of Honey", the B-side 
of "Aerial". It's slow in parts and the endless videos 
of birds get a bit samey after a while but again 
she sounds phenomenal. 

The encores are "Among Angels" with just 
Kate and a piano and "Cloudbusting".

So if I had to give it stars out of five I suppose three 
would be about right. Parts of it are mind 
blowing, other parts a bit ho-hum.

The stage before the show started. Kate has requested
no photos or video to be taken during the show.

The interval curtain.



Monday 10.3 marked the 25th anniversary of the world 
wide web, the one invention of the 20th century 
which changed the way we live and work 
beyond anyone's wildest imagination. 

The inventor Sir Tim Berners-Lee says "Twenty-five years 
ago I filed the proposal for what was to become the 
World Wide Web. My boss dubbed it ‘vague 
but exciting’. Luckily, he thought enough of the
idea to allow me to quietly work
 on it on the side." 

Oh interwebs, how I love thee! I can not even 
begin to think about what it would be like to live 
without the net now. Of course we would survive 
but it would be like going back to the stone age.

Just for fun - the beginning of the 
internet ... and the end ;-)



I don't get excited about new music very often being a bit
of an 80's stick-in-the-mud that I am.
I know, I've said it before and 
I'll probably say it again. 

In the meanwhile here are some of the songs 
which have been on heavy rotation over 
the last couple of months in the old iPod -
including the Grammy 2014 Song Of The Year  
winner Lorde with "Royals" - which I liked 
long before it won. Actually I think it's the 
first time ever I've liked a song which 
went onto win something prestigious !

I've added 20 new songs into Radio Larwi 
as well, check them out here and here



I've been collecting my favourite quotes (from films, song lyrics etc.) on my facebook page for a few years so I thought I'll stick them in here too.

Let's start with one of my own:

"I must've looked miserable yesterday as a builder decided to share his wisdom with me: "Cheer up love - it might never happen!" so I just said "Oh sweetheart, it happened the day you were born".

* * *

"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."

(J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 26)

* * *

Giles Prentice: I don't know what's scarier, losing nuclear weapons, or that it happens so often there's actually a term for it . . .

(Broken Arrow, 1996)

* * *

"I guess I should have known 
By the way you parked your car sideways 
That it wouldn't last"

(Prince, "Little Red Corvette")

* * *

Unknown: Life will never be perfect so stop trying to make it so. Happiness comes not from having what you want but from wanting what you have - and you have more than enough to satisfy your needs, your desires and aspirations.

Kaffee: Whoa. Hold it. We gotta take a boat?

Barnes: Yes, sir. To get to the other side of the bay.

Kaffee: Nobody said anything about a boat.

Barnes: Is there a problem, sir?

Kaffee: No, no problem. I'm just not that crazy about boats, that's all.

Galloway: Jesus Christ, Kaffee, you're in the Navy for crying out loud.

Kaffee: Nobody likes her very much.

Barnes: Yes, sir!

( A Few Good Men, 1992)

* * *

Dino: You and me - we open our own shop. I run New York, you run London. We meet once a month in the Caymans to visit our money . . .

Terry: I don't know if I want you visiting my money . . .

(Proof of Life, 2000)

* * *

Darwin Mayflower: I'll torture you so slowly, you'll think it's a career!

(Hudson Hawk, 1991) 

Kirk Lazarus: Everybody knows you never go full retard.

Tugg Speedman: What do you mean?

Kirk Lazarus: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cards. Autistic, sho'. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. He was a God damn war hero. You know any retarded war heroes? You went full retard, man. Never go full retard. You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, "I Am Sam." Remember? Went full retard, went home empty handed . . .

(Tropic Thunder, 2008)


Virgil: [finishes talking to Lindsey Brigman on the intercom] God, I hate that bitch!

Alan "Hippy" Carnes: Probably shouldn't have married her then, huh?

(The Abyss, 1989)

* * *

Assistant: I downloaded Angry Birds for you.

JR: I don't need any more angry birds . . .

(Dallas, 2012)

* * *

Whistler: I want peace on earth and goodwill toward men.

Bernard Abbott: We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing!

(Sneakers 1992)

* * *

The heart breaks
Way before the habit

And if you don't quit
You'll never get over

If you don't quit
You'll never get out

And you're always
Gonna be an addict

The heart breaks
Way before the habit

(Lissie "The Habit" 2013)

* * *

Natasha Romanoff: It’s really not that complicated. I’ve got red in my ledger, I’d like to wipe it out.

Loki: Can you? Can you wipe out that much red? Drakov’s daughter, Sao Paulo, the hospital fire? Barton told me everything. Your ledger is dripping- it’s gushing red and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer. Pathetic! You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you and they will never go away. I won’t touch Barton. Not until I make him kill you! Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear. And then he’ll wake just long enough to see his good work and when he screams, I’ll split his skull! This is my bargain, you mewling quim!

(Avengers Assemble, 2012) 

Mona Lisa Vito: The car that made these two, equal-length tire marks had positraction. You can't make those marks without positraction, which was not available on the '64 Buick Skylark!

Vinny Gambini: And why not? What is positraction?

Mona Lisa Vito: It's a limited slip differential which distributes power equally to both the right and left tires. The '64 Skylark had a regular differential, which, anyone who's been stuck in the mud in Alabama knows, you step on the gas, one tire spins, the other tire does nothing.

Vinny Gambini: Is that it?

Mona Lisa Vito: No, there's more! You see? When the left tire mark goes up on the curb and the right tire mark stays flat and even? Well, the '64 Skylark had a solid rear axle, so when the left tire would go up on the curb, the right tire would tilt out and ride along its edge. But that didn't happen here. The tire mark stayed flat and even. This car had an independent rear suspension. Now, in the '60's, there were only two other cars made in America that had positraction, and independent rear suspension, and enough power to make these marks. One was the Corvette, which could never be confused with the Buick Skylark. The other had the same body length, height, width, weight, wheel base, and wheel track as the '64 Skylark, and that was the 1963 Pontiac Tempest.

Vinny Gambini: And because both cars were made by GM, were both cars available in metallic mint green paint?

Mona Lisa Vito: They were!

Vinny Gambini: Thank you, Ms. Vito. No more questions. Thank you very, very much. You've been a lovely, lovely witness.

(My Cousin Vinny, 1992)

* * *

This is so far off the record even I don't know I'm saying it!

(Babylon, Channel 4, 2014)

* * *

Ooh, the bible! You know . . . I remember when this first came out. 
Didn't think it would be a hit.

(Earl, 2 Broke Girls, 2013) 

Max: Earl, would you like a cat?

Earl: Hell no! Cats steal your weed!

(2 Broke Girls, 2013) 

 Max: I'm so many kinds of bitches I've lost count!

(2 Broke Girls, 2012)

Sophie: "Oh Earl! You make me smile. I wish we had black  
people in Poland when I was growing up."

Earl: "Too bad. We really would've enjoyed segregation and Hitler."

(2 Broke Girls, 2012)

 * * * 

Billy Lamb: I thought you were trying to quit (smoking)?

Caroline Warwick QC: Yeah. I'm down to two lighters a day.

(Silk, 2013)

* * *

Ian Fletcher: "You're not listening to us"

Siobhan Sharpe: “I totally am listening  . . . what it is, 

you guys aren’t saying the right stuff.”

(W1A, 2014)

* * *

"But I got my fingers in the cookie jar -
I ain't got the time . . ."

(Kevin Rudolf, "Living It Up", 2008)

* * *

Samantha: Oh look! Seamen!

Miranda: When I turn around they'd better be sailors there - 

because with her you never know ...

(Sex And The City, "Anchors Away", 2002)

* * *

Frasier: Do you remember that Xmas - mum got him the "Invisible Man And Woman" - you had to put all the internal organs in the right place?

Martin: All I remember is you two fighting over it ...

Frasier: Well Niles was getting on my nerves, I had to go and steal his ovaries!

Daphne: (Walks into the room) Now there's a conversation I'm glad I missed the beginning of!

(Frasier,"An Affair To Forget", 1995)

* * *

(Nile's maid translates what Maris' German fencing instructor is saying by translating it into Spanish which Frasier translates into English for Niles. Niles gets the wrong idea from an misinterpretation)

Niles: En garde! 

Frasier: Oh yes, Niles, that's just what we need, a fourth language! 

 (Frasier,"An Affair To Forget", 1995)



I'm a huge fan of Tom Hiddleston who has done 
a terrific job of portraying Loki in three of Marvel's 
blockbusters since 2011 ( Thor, The Avengers  

Myself like millions of fans round the world are 
hoping for a Loki spin off/solo film and while we're 
waiting I got inspired and wrote a script! 
Just ... because it was a fun thing to do.

I've taken some elements of the Finnish 
folklore/mythology Kalevala and mixed it with
 the traditional Yggdrasil (The World Tree) 
names who have been the main characters 
in the Marvel films. 

I wanted a female baddie so I made Louhi, the Mistress 
of The North, the Queen of Pohjola, the main antagonist.  
I think Meryl Streep would be perfect in this role!

You can read the script HERE 

This script is a work in progress, a story 
outline and I'm still tweaking it but I wanted 
to put it out there - Marvel, feel free 
to use the ideas in it. :-)

I should point out that the scene set in the 1970's 
is Tom Hiddleston's idea - I wanted to include 
it because he has talked about Loki going back 
in time to that era in many interviews. 


Here are some spoilers from my story: 
Jane is pregnant. Louhi turns out to be 
Loki's mother. Loki dies. 

EDIT: 4.2.2014 I have just watched the 
trailer for the new Angelina Jolie film 
Maleficent for the first time. 

Now ... she is exactly like I imagined "Louhi" in 
my film (right down to the green smoke) but since 
I wrote the script long before even hearing about 
"Maleficent" let alone seeing this trailer - 
the similarities are purely coincidental.


Top 30

TOP 30

I was listening to my all time favourite tracks 
last night and decided to select 
a definitive TOP 30.

It was really difficult, so many great tracks 
to choose from! But after much deliberation 
here they are, in no particular order

Runway Boys

Are You Sure

Bound To Be

Dirty Laundry

Don't Walk Away

Flying North


Hip To Be Square

I Can't Wait


Kind Words


Show Me Love

Smugglers Blues

Lesser God

The Warrior


Ways To Be Wicked

Let There Be Love

Light Of Day

Martika's Kitchen

Middle Of The Road

It's Time

Our World, Our Times

Perfect Way

Photograph Kills

Radiation Ranch

Rocky Road

The Secret Of My Success

Wild Horses

The songs are available to 

download/listen to HERE 



I'm a huge fan of Eurovision and all I can say 
that this year's competition has people 
who can actually sing in it! 

I hope for once they are judged for the music 
and talent, not the gimmicks. 

My ultimate favourite to win is Ukraine's 
"Gravity". Zlata Ognevich's voice is amazing! 

The giant who carries Zlata onto the stage is Ukrainian
Igor Vovkovinskiy who is 2.37 meters (7 ft 8) tall
and wears size 62 shoes (UK size 20)!

Finland's entry "Marry Me" is nice Katy Perry'ish pop 
number. Hope she does well too! 

EDIT 19.5.2013: The results : Finland are keeping 
up the fine tradition of finishing in the bottom 
five, this time third last at 24. Bonnie (UK) rasped 
her way to the 19th spot and my favourite 
Ukraine finished third. The winner is Denmark, 
the song is a bit blaah but not the 
worst in the competition. 

Graham Norton was on form once again, 

three of his best quips of the night: 

"If you don't like two girls kissing ... 
well, you need to grow up"

"If this was singing competition 
they would do well"

(While they were faffing to get the 
winner Denmark to perform at the end) 
"I'm paying waiting time on a taxi so 
if she could sing it now that 
would be brilliant"



But one that's been stuck in my head for weeks! 
I catch myself singing it involuntarily 
during housework! 

It's from the bitch fest 2013 otherwise known 
as Nashville. I've never been a fan of country 
music but this TV series has got me hooked. 
I particularly like Connie Britton who plays 
country legend "Rayna Jaymes".


As a part of my Tuesday routine I buy a few gossips 
mainly for the fashion articles as I've no 
idea who half of the "celebs" are and I've 
no desire to know if a Z-lister from TOWIE
is dating a footballer or not.

These mags are obsessed about reporting not 
only who's dating who but the ladies dress sizes. 
Half of the pages are filled with "so and so, used to 
be an 18, now a svelte 10" and one of the things 
I've noticed lately is that the "celebs" seem to 
be different sizes depending which 
mag you pick up - in the same week
 in the same photo.

Here are a couple examples.

In the top photo Mischa Barton in "Now" 
(22.4.2013) on the left - "fab size 12" and in 
"Heat" (20.4.2013) - "dress size 14/16".

Bottom photo Serena Williams in "Heat" 
(27.4.2013) on the left - dress size "14" and 
in "Now" (29.4.2013) - "size 12".

Please click on the photos to see a larger 
version (click on the photo and then 
right click on "view image")

The pics that make laugh the most are the ones 
where the person is clearly 16-18-20, sometimes 
even bigger and the text reads "X has 
slimmed down to size 10".

Do the mags get sued if they report the 
"celebs" real size? Or are the "journalists" who 
write this rubbish just lazy and type the 
first size they can think of?

Well, lazy or not, it's not working - everyone can see 
that some fat porker is clearly not a size 10 (or whatever 
imaginary size they happen to be that week) no 
matter how many cameras you remove! 

Not that any of this matters in the greater scheme 
of things. One thing that should be remedied for 
the sake of young girls who take these things as 
gospel is the fact that size 12 is now considered 
a "plus size" i.e fat in the UK (40% of the female 
population are a size 16 or over)