DISTRESS

EAT

The second series of The Supersizers Eat is turning out
to be just as good as the first one. So far we've enjoyed
the culinary delights of the 80's, Medieval
times and the French Revolution.

Sadly one episode, the 50's, was dropped because of a
Wimbledon tennis match running long (boo!)
but hopefully we'll see that sometime in the
future when the series is no doubt repeated.
Next week it's the roaring Twenties.

Not only do we learn about the food, Sue and Goren
also dress the part and give us a quick history
lesson the of the habits and customs of each
period. Great telly! Third series please!

JUMBO SMOOTH

It may not have exactly been the target market when
it was launched, but Tesco's own-brand cocoa butter
is going down a storm with the elephants
in Belfast Zoo, particularly to keep
their bottoms smooth.

The zoo is a type of retirement home which cares for
female elephants. They've been having a problem
of dry skin, particularly around their feet and
lower legs – and their bottoms.

Elephant curator Alyn Cairns said: "Our herd is now
complete and we want to provide them with
the best care in their old age. That includes
looking after their skin."

Under veterinary advice the elephant team tried
many different creams to soften the skin
but with limited effect, he said.

Female keeper Aisling McMahon came to the
rescue suggesting the moisturising cream
from a supermarket which she uses herself.

"I found it difficult to find a good moisturiser for my own
skin and when I realised this particular one worked
for me, I suggested it to the team. The elephants
now get moisturised regularly. Cream is applied
to the elephant's feet, bum and body."

Caoimhe Mannion, marketing manager of Tesco in
Northern Ireland, said: "It is essential that
people protect their skins in hot weather -
but I didn't realise elephants were such
big fans of our products."

STONE COLD

I heard this song on the telly yesterday and
now I can't get it out of my head!

Paloma Faith
Stone Cold Sober

SUNSET OF
THE WEEK

BRITISH ABC

Remember the Google Maps Alphabet?
Now there's one of the British Isles.

Picture researcher Rachel Young, 25, found
all 26 letters of the alphabet on Google
Maps in just 15 hours.

She said: "I did a lot of scrolling around on Google
just waiting to find the right shapes. I thought
the major cities like London, Manchester and
Liverpool would be a safe bet for odd-shaped
buildings and being from Yorkshire I knew
that would be a good place for
fields and hedgerows".

NO STRIPES

A white Bengal tiger has become the first of its
kind to exist in the wild today after
being born without stripes.

The six-month-old cub is so rare it is thought
there are fewer than 20 tigers like her
alive in the world - all in captivity.

The tiger, which has been named Fareeda, was born to two
white Bengal tigers. However, while Fareeda's brother
Shahir and sister Sitarah all bear the typical black
tiger stripes, Fareeda is a one in a hundred
chance of being born without.

Fareeda, who was hand-reared by keepers at Cango
Wildlife Ranch, near Cape Town, South Africa, is
part of a unique breeding programme to keep
the White Bengal species alive.

Keepers at the ranch were delighted when Fareeda and
her siblings were born on Christmas Day last year,
but even more surprised to see Fareeda's
rare lack of markings.

Odette Claassen, 52, from the ranch said the keepers
had to wait six months before they could be
sure she definitely did not have stripes.

She said: "Some cubs develop them in their first few
months but after six months it's clear that Fareeda is
truly one of the rarest of her kind. When she was born
she had noticeably pale colour and it did cause
a stir of excitement amongst the staff."

"But we knew there was the possibility of the cub's very light
black and ginger stripes darkening over time existed.
Most white Bengal tigers are bred in the US from a single
male captured in the 1950s, but Fareeda is the first to
be born in Africa, which is very special. She has
a lovely nature and loves playing with her
brothers and sisters, although she has nipped
me a few times when she wants a feed."

White Bengal tigers are not albino, they have
distinctive blue eyes and used to be found in
Northern India before they died out.

"My hope is that one day Fareeda and her kind
can be returned to their native habitat and
that is why it is so important to educate
people about tigers and keeping the
breeding programmes going."

ODD DAY

Remember square root day?
Well, he's at it again!

Noticed anything exceptional about yesterdays date?
July 5, 2009 (05/07/09) - three consecutive
odd numbers make up the date only five
times in a century.

This nugget is pointed out by Californian high
school maths teacher Ron Gordon from
Redwood City, a self-confessed
"mathemagician".

"That's what my kids call me, because I make
something out of nothing from maths,"
the 64-year-old says.

"This really is a day to celebrate. OK, it's true
there will be another one in two years' time on
September 7, 2011 (07/09/11), and one on
November 9, 2013 (09/11/13) but then it won't
happen again for 92 years. And I sure
won't be around to see it."

So what does Ron suggest you do on "Odd Day"? "It's a
great day to do your odds 'n ends, give a friend a
high-five or root for the odds-on-favourite,"
he says. You can't get much more odds-on
than Roger Federer and look what happened!

If these numerical oddities grab you, take
a look at www.oddday.net and
plunge into his world.

HAPPY PLANET?

British people are less satisfied with life than many
in poorer countries and use too many of the earth's
resources, according to a poll that ranks us
74th in the world below Georgia and Burma.

Rather than measure Gross Domestic Product or GDP,
the Happy Planet Index measures life expectancy,
happiness and the environmental
impact of different nations.

The top ten countries are not the richest nations but
middle income countries in Latin America, Asia or
the Carribbean where there is a high level of
life satisfaction and low carbon footprint.

Costa Rica is the greenest and happiest country on
the planet, according to the rankings developed
by think tank the New Economics Foundation,
followed by the Dominican Republic
and Jamaica.

The UK comes in at 74 out of 143 countries behind
post-Soviet Georgia at 72, the military dictatorship
Burma at 39 and Sri Lanka, which has been
scarred by civil war, at 22.

The highest ranking country in the EU was the
Netherlands at 43 followed by France
at 71 and Germany at 51.

Levels of life satisfaction, calculated from a
worldwide poll, were also not necessarily
high in rich countries where violence and
inequality continue to be a problem.

In the UK the low ranking was largely due to
social problems or what has been labelled
"broken Britain" and the high carbon
footprint of most of the population.

If everyone in the world wanted to live as
people do in the UK, it would require the
resources of more than three earths.

Nick Marks, who devised the rankings, said
that there are still high levels of inequality
in the UK as well as community breakdown
and unhealthy lifestyles.

"There are a lot of people who are unhappy particularly
at the lower income end of the spectrum but it is not
only financial inequality, it is the longer working
week, a lack of social cohesion through a sense
of belonginess to the community or the
geographic area, indebtedness, low levels
of volunteering and more passive
lifestyles," he said.

YOU'VE BEEN
TANGOED

A cat which disappeared from its home in
Cornwall turned up safe and well - on
the set of Question Time.

Tango the ginger tom crept into Treviglas Community
College's hall in Newquay where the BBC1's
political discussion programme was
being filmed last week.

He padded out from under a table where David Dimbleby
was chairing talks with a panel of guests. Owner
Jackie Ellery heard of his surprise appearance
when a friend rang to say she had spotted him.

But she was not the only person to notice the furtive
feline - panel guest Julia Goldsworthy, Lib Dem
MP for Falmouth and Camborne, had also clocked
him, as had many of the studio audience who
erupted into laughter at his nonchalant air.

However, although his owner had been watching
the programme in her living room,
she missed his TV debut.

"I was watching Question Time but I didn't notice
him," said Mrs Ellery, who works at the college
as a dinner lady and lives next door to it.

"Then my friend rang up and said: 'Your cat's just been
on the telly'. I told her not to be ridiculous but I had
Sky Plus so I rewound it and there he was -
just sauntering across."

"It didn't surprise me in a way because he's in the
school all the time and always wandering about.
He's always been into mischief and we live right next
to the school so this is his playground - all the kids
love him. It didn't faze him when he walked through
with all those people. He actually got taken out
five times but he still managed
to get on the show."

Although his TV debut may have been fleeting,
it seems that Tango's screen appearance will
go down as one of the more memorable
events to happen on the show.

Gill Penlington, Question Time's editor, said:
"Tango is certainly the most unusual guest we've
had in Question Time's history."

PS: for non UK readers: "been tangoed" comes from
a soft drink TV advert in the mid 90's.

'ELF AND SAFETY

With this (goggles when using blu-tack and no egg boxes
in case of salmonella), this (no swimming goggles)
and this (no doormats) on the news last week
got me thinking that I sure was
born at the right time.

Like all my peers born in the late 60's and
early 70's I got to have a proper childhood.

But it's somewhat a miracle that we are still alive
if you believe the current bureaucrats!

Child safe medicine bottles or cupboard doors or bike helmets
simply didn't exist. We fell out of trees and drank out of
garden hoses and crashed home made go-karts into
rasberry bushes and did it do us any harm?

Well, in some cases the answer is probably yes and that
explains a lot of things but this completely over the
top absolutely ridiculous health and safety
business is starting to be beyond a joke.

We got to run around to our hearts content and in a way we
had to: we didn't have Xboxes or hundreds of TV
channels or Facebook to keep us entertained.
We went out and made real life friends.

A simple cardboard box provided hours of entertainment
as did jumping from roofs into piles of ploughed
snow (in Finland). In the summer we went
swimming (I for one lived in the lake!),
played hide and seek and every
single ball game known to man.

In the winter we skated and ski'd till we couldn't feel
our fingers, toes and ears anymore. No-one told us
off, as long as we were out of the hair of our
parents everyone was happy.

Nobody even knew where we were - mobiles didn't exist!
There was no talk of pedophiles, we walked or cycled
for miles to school. We had fights and bruises. We
broke arms and legs and teeth but nobody sued
anyone, it was just stuff that happened. If you
were lucky you got a slap from your
dad for being so stupid!

It is truly a sad state of affairs when kids can't use or
touch even the simplest of things like egg
boxes in case they catch salmonella!
As if that would ever happen!

These rules don't obviously happen by themselves.
Just makes you think what must that person(s) be
like? And for heaven's sake what must this
generation of mollycoddled kids
be like when they grow up?!

PLINTH

Today is the start of the One And Other
project on the fourth plinth at
London's Trafalgar Square.

It was somewhat ruined by a protester
(for a good cause, mind) but got
underway eventually.

This is Steve Platt, 54, from London. He is doing
it to give his 20-month-old grandson
something to remember him by.

Steve was up there from 2 pm till 3. A different person
will take their place for all the world to see via a
live broadcast on the One And Other website
every hour over the next 100 days. The plinth
will be occupied 24 hours a day.

This idea of living art by Anthony Gormley
attracted 14,500 applications
from across the UK.

LONGEST CAT

Yesterday afternoon KB and Geraldinho were
crashed out on her bed and G looked so cute
I had to sneak in and take a couple of shots.

Completely out of it, bless her! She was going for
the World's Longest Cat title as well,
look at her next to KB's leg!

TILT SHIFT

This may look like a model with tiny toy figures on a
scaled-down bridge, but it is actually a photograph
of real people crossing the real Millennium Bridge,
taken using a tilt-shift lens.

Toby Allen, 35, uses a technique called 'tilt and shift' to
capture the images. Aptly named "Little London"
these endearing shots include one of the UK's big
freeze in February, taken from
his bedroom window.

Tilt-shift lenses were originally used by architects to
get perspective on huge buildings. Now Toby
uses them to scale down icons and
events in his city.

For his 'Little London' project, he aims to shoot all of
London's major places and scale them down in
time for an exhibition to coincide with
the 2012 Olympic Games.

He explains: "By blurring two sections of the photograph
the image basically tricks the human eye into thinking
it's looking at something very small like a model.
You have to get the angle right as well, looking
down on your subject from about 45 degrees."

If you fancy having a go,
here's how to do it.

EDIT 9.7.09: The tilt shift fewer is catching,
here are some images that readers of the
Daily Telegraph have created.

SPUDS ARE IN

Another hot and humid afternoon is Colliers Wood.
Whilst waiting for the men's final to start I
decided it was time to dig the spuds up. Got
the fork out and roped the hung over KB to be
my picker and this is what we found:

Nearly a bucket of new potatoes and Charlotte's.
Mr S planted a later variety (above bottom
pic) so we've got own grown spuds
all the way till winter!

NOISE HELL
PART II

It turns out Westminster is the noisiest area
in the UK (hardly surprising!).

We've had our own noise problem for almost year and last
weekend it finally got too much (another ten hour
party) so this week has been spent sorting out
the louts living down the road from us.

They're not literally next door, we share a fence with them
but with their anti-social behaviour (too long to list, use
your imagination) and loud music they've rendered
the use of our garden useless. A family living wall
to wall with them had enough at the same
time so we both contacted the council
and it's being sorted.

The whole affair has stressed me out no end,
it's made me even more unwell... as if Fibro
and BPPV weren't making ill me enough!

I've had a horrible migraine all week (partly because
of the heat as well I'm sure but still), I'm
angry, jumpy and stressed out.

People who blast their stereos whether it be in their
gardens or houses with windows open, car
stereos etc. do not consider the impact
they have on other people.

As soon as you turn that volume button up you're affecting
somebody. Nobody wants to listen to the music you listen
to! Best way to describe it is imagine the thing you like
least in the whole world and then someone you don't
know doing it to you all the time, without
any warning, any time of the day.

Why do you have to share it with the rest of the world?
Blast your music by any means but use some headphones
for crying out loud! And trust me, there isn't some
magical noise filter at the edge of your window or
around your garden which sucks in the noise!

Most people are just ignorant (especially the me-me-me
generation of current 20 somethings) and will turn it
down/off when told about it but it shouldn't even get
to the stage where it's making someone ill.

I'm now so anxious that I haven't even bothered to go to the
garden for the last week as I'm just waiting for the
thump thump thump to start again. It's like
being hit on the head with a hammer!

You're just constantly listening to which way is it going
to come from next? Most of the time I'm sandwiched
between our immediate neighbours kids stereo (they
used to play it in the garden, when asked stopped but
now blast it out of their bedroom windows facing
the garden...so no difference) and a stereo/TV
from the other side but although both are
daily occurrences they don't go
for hours on end.

It's very annoying and I wish I could tell
them to shut the hell up but got
to keep on good terms...

The thing that annoys me the most that I
would never even dream of doing
something that affects other people,
especially neighbours.

If I listen to music I do it with headphones. I keep my telly
volume down. I try to mow the lawn when there's least people
at home. If we burn rubbish in the garden we try to
do it on a rainy/drizzly/cold day so that no-one
will have their washing out or windows open.

I mean I feel quilty about even having a barbecue because
of the smoke and try to do it on a non windy day so
that it doesn't drift into peoples homes.

And then all you get in return are people being selfish all
around...it just makes you think well sod it, why should
we care and be considerate? But then I don't
want to sink to that level so I just keep on
being the good citizen. You don't get
rewarded for it but there you go...

It's not the first time we've suffered from noisy neighbours
here either, back in 2006 I wrote this about the house
which is now occupied by the latest twats.

Before I moved to this address I lived on the adjoining
street for 5 years and suffered amateur builders
(woman who owned the flat above employed her
idiot no skills whatsoever brother-in-law) noise
and mess on a daily basis for almost 4 years.

And back in the early 90's in Brighton I went through
the same unpleasantness with a noisy B&B next door.
Luckily Brighton Council closed them down after
a lengthy process and I don't believe I
was the only one to complain!

So hopefully the latest instalment in the sorry
saga of "isn't it great to live in one the biggest
metropoles in the world!" has
come to an end. For now.

Me pessimistic ? Naah! What
ever gave you that idea?

NICE PIC OF
THE DAY

Some of the tipis in this years
Glastonbury Festival.

HOTTING UP

The mercury is on the climb
here in SW19.

Today it's sitting at 30 C, towards the end of
the week is going to get hotter and hotter.

I have developed a nasty migraine because of
this heat so I'll be signing off for a few
days until it cools! Back ASAP.

MUD OR GRUNT?

Nick Newman,
Sunday Times 28.6.08.

CRASHED

After her fourth afternoon snack today Geraldinho
found it all a bit too much and promptly crashed
out in the middle of the lawn. It's a hard life!

FLYING SAUNA

Usually sauna's are not airborne but the participants
in the first The Midnight Balloon Rally in
Finland arer doing just that: flying
one in an hot air balloon.

This weekend the night skies over Jyväskylä will
be speckled by about 20 colourful balloons
from 5 different countries.

This rare opportunity for balloonists to make night
time flights between 11 pm and 1 am has drawn
enthusiasts from as far away as China.

The main take-off site is the Laajavuori skiing
centre, where spectators can observe the
setting up and departure of the balloons.

You can watch a video of
the flights here

SUNSET OF THE
WEEK

RIP

Michael Jackson RIP

Farrah Fawcett RIP

PS: I wonder how long before the conspiracy
theories pop up? MJ did an Elvis?

EDIT 3.7.09: The answer
would be not long...

GONE BAD

MICRO

It's hard to believe these are real!

Check out the amazing micro sculptures, like
America's First Family below,
by Willard Wigan.

The British sculptor is known all around the world
for his miniature sculptures that are
invisible to the naked eye.

Willard uses tiny homemade tools and paints with
a hair plucked from a housefly's back. He carves
the microscopic figures from grains of rice or
sand or sugar. The sculptures, which often
take months to complete, are then
mounted on pin heads or needles.

His latest exhibition is on now at My
Little Eye Gallery in Bloomsbury,
London WC1A 1LU.

IS THERE ANYBODY
OUT THERE?

Astronomers believe they have seen hints
of the first planet to be spotted
outside of our galaxy.

Situated in the Andromeda galaxy (below), the planet
appears to be about six times the mass of Jupiter.
The method hinges on gravitational lensing,
whereby a nearer object can bend the light of
a distant star when the two
align with an observer.

The results will be published in
Monthly Notices of the Royal
Astronomical Society (MNRAS).

The team, made up of researchers from the
National Institute of Nuclear Physics (INFN)
in Italy and collaborators in Switzerland, Spain,
and Russia, exploited a type of gravitational
lensing called microlensing.

LUCY COMES
HOME

Ah, what a nice story! And a reminder
that microchipping your pets works.

A dog which disappeared from its home in Cornwall
four months ago has been found over 550
miles (880 km) away in Scotland.

The 17-year-old collie called Lucy vanished
from Sonya and William Mckerron's
house in Redruth on February 6.

They spent months looking for her and had
given up all hope until they received a
call from an animal rescue
centre in Edinburgh.

Lucy was found in a garden in East Lothian and the
homeowners took her in to be scanned for a
microchip. Sonya drove to Scotland to be
reunited with her pet at the Edinburgh
Dog and Cat Home last Saturday.

"It feels overwhelming to see her as we didn't think
we would ever find her. I was in the house and
I went to the toilet and when I came out she was
gone from the drive. We hunted high and low,
phoned everybody including rescue centres
and because she is chipped we thought
we would find her," Sonya said.

Dave Ewing, the Edinburgh Dog and Cat Home
manager, said he suspected Lucy had been taken
by someone rather than having just become lost.
"I am confident Lucy was taken by someone
either because they thought she was genuinely
lost and they were doing her a favour or they
knew they shouldn't have taken her."

GOODBYE
KODACHROME

The original little yellow box is no more.
Kodak has finally pulled the plug on
Kodachrome, one of the first colour
films to be available to the masses.

I was sad to hear that they have made a decision
the stop making a photography great after 74
years, used by myself many a time when I
still employed a 35 mm on a daily basis.

Kodachrome has had a special place in the hearts
of many photographers and was at its peak of
popularity during the 1950s and 60s. Today
it accounts for less than 1% of
Kodak's sales of film.

Kodak is currently running a collection by a number of
photographic greats (some of the images above
and below) and it's worth checking out
The Kodachrome project as well.

RACE

This little bit of news was in
TheLondonPaper today.

Well, what I'd like to know is are the people who make
the Targeting Benefit Thieves adverts for the
government going to be found guilty of racial
discrimination because all of the actors
playing the thieves are white?

Of course not.

If you're going to do this racial bollocks then do it
across the board. Let's have some black and Asian
benefit thieves as well! Why not? Even it out a bit.
Maybe a person in a burkha?

But oh no...we can't do that because you can't possibly
have a black or any other "minority" thief,
I mean that's just stereotyping.

But making them all white? That's alright!

Enough already. Use black, Asian etc actors in
adverts with negative associations as well as
or "normal" ones or stop whining.

CHEESE

NUTTY

Watch this little livewire in action!

A squirrel has built up a close relationship
with a builder who found him when
he was only a week old.

Tony Hattersley, from Stockport, rescued Nutty
the squirrel when he fell from a roof he
was working on and the pair have been
practically inseparable ever since.

Nutty goes everywhere with his new best mate -
even jumping into the shower with
him for a quick shampoo!

STIG REVEALED

The Stig, a mystery driver who tests high-performance
cars on Top Gear, has been "revealed" as
Michael Schumacher.

The seven-times Formula 1 champion dressed
as the show's famous driver and removed his
helmet during an interview with
presenter Jeremy Clarkson.

However, an appalling driving performance by
Schumacher at the end of the show cast doubt
on the "revelation". Clarkson told viewers:
"I don't think Michael Schumacher is the Stig".

After the show, a BBC spokeswoman would not
confirm whether or not Schumacher was the
genuine Stig, or a stunt to mark the first
episode of a new series of Top Gear.

Perry McCarthy, a former Formula 1 driver,
was the original Stig, wearing black
overalls for his appearances.

He left the show in 2003 - when a "new" Stig,
dressed in white, took over - and later
disclosed his identity in
an autobiography.

OH GINO

You know when you hear a song for the first time
and you're just blown away? Well that's exactly
what happened to me with Gino Vannelli.

I'd never even heard of him until a couple of weeks
ago my favourite 80's net radio station
Star107.9 FM played a track of
his called Wild Horses.

I immediately went on eBay to see I could buy
a CD and as it happened someone
in China was selling one.

The track is on Big Dreamers Never Sleep and
the whole album is brilliant! If you like 80's
keyboard pop you'll love this!
Recommended!

NEW ROOF
PLEASE

Amazingly enough it's not raining. It's the
first week of Wimbledon, it should
be bucketing down!

With the weather set fair for the first week in Strawberry
Fields, bookies William Hill have slashed the odds
on the new Centre Court roof becoming the next
great white elephant of sport.

They quote 6-1 (down from 10-1) that the roof is
not used at all in the Championships' fortnight.

If bad light intervenes and a match is played
to its conclusion, it's only 7-1 that a
match finishes after midnight.

Should it rain it will take about seven
minutes for the roof to close and 30
minutes before play can resume.

The roof is made of a lightweight material called
Tenara which is stretched over the court's opening
by 10 trusses and is 16m above the court surface.
The decision to close it is made by
tournament referee Andrew Jarrett.

If you were to fill Centre Court with tennis balls
while the roof is closed you would
need 290 million.

COLLIERS WOOD
INFO

All of the information about Colliers Wood, where I live
in South West London SW19, is scattered all over
the net so I decided to put it all under roof.

Here's my page. Hopefully I've covered
most useful bits but if anyone can think
of something else give me a shout!

HAPPY MIDSUMMER

Tomorrow is the Finn's annual drinking
(and sadly for many: drowning)
festival Midsummer or Juhannus.
The party starts tonight with
bonfires known as "kokko".

It is also the official day to
celebrate the Finnish flag.

Here in SW19 we will celebrate in an time honored
fashion by doing bugger all. Maybe a little bonfire to
keep the evil spirits away, we'll see...oh and might
have a cider and go completely crazy!

EDIT 20.6.2009: Above some
of the kokko's from last night.

JUNE ART
2009

Please click on the images
to view a larger version.

JUNE 2009
COLOUR

There are some lovely vivid colours and fantastic
details in the neighbourhood flowers
and plants at the moment.
Here's a few shots.

Please click on the images to
view a larger version.

SUNSET OF
THE WEEK

SONGS

Songs I can't get out of my head
at the moment are:

Metro Station:
Shake It

and

Jordin Sparks:
Battlefield

DUCKY

DEFINITELY
MISSPELT

The most commonly misspelt word in English is
'definitely' with many incorrectly
writing it as 'definately'.

More than 30% of those polled blamed text
messaging for the mistakes while 42%
think poor spellers are "thick".

OnePoll.com, which polled 5,000 people, said:
"Technology is contributing to
our inability to spell."

The Top Ten most commonly
misspelt words were:

1 Definitely (Definately);
2 Sacrilegious (Sacreligious);
3 Indict (Indite);
4 Manoeuvre (Maneouvre);
5 Bureaucracy ( Beaurocracy);
6 Broccoli (Brocolli);
7 Phlegm (Phleghm);
8 Prejudice ( Predjudice);
9 Consensus (Conscensus);
10 Unnecessary (Unecessary).

RETOUCHED

Check out these amazing shots by Erik Johansson,
a 24-year-old photographer based in
Gothenburg, Sweden.

He takes photos with his digital SLR and then
manipulates them. "I discovered that it was fun
to change them in different ways, as you
create something more than just
the photo," he explains.

"Most of the images I have done so far are personal
projects to discover and experiment
with different techniques."

"When I know what I want to do, I usually begin
looking for places where I can take the photos
that I need. This takes a lot of time as the
scene is very important for
the final result..."

PAILLE
MAILLE

The 17th century royal game which gave Pall Mall
in London its name was played on the street
for the first time in 400 years.

Visitors were given the chance to take part in
Paille Maille in the shadow of Buckingham Palace.
The game was enjoyed by King Charles II at the
spot when central London was still green fields.

The once Royal and upper class sporting pastime
originated from the Italian pallamaglio, which
literally means "ball-mallet" and was played
in the areas we now refer to as Pall Mall and
The Mall in St James's Park.

The one-day recreation of Paille Maille was a part
of a series celebrating the past, present and
future of London during a month long
"Story of London" festival.

Paille Maille has passed through years and years of
adaptations, including one version involving
a lacrosse-style stick and a large round hoop
placed at the far end of the Mall.

A later, rather more sedate, version of Paille Maille
involved equipment similar in style to that
of which we now know as croquet or golf.

MORE MONEY
THAN SENSE

Looking for to spend your moolah on totally useless
crap that costs the earth? Suffering from a
classic case of more money than sense?

Then this is the website for you:
maybeyoushouldntbuythat.com,
a collection of the most expensive
and most worthless items
in the world.

BRAMBLE AND
SOPHIE

Aah! What a nice story!

An orphaned baby eagle owl has been adopted
by a springer spaniel. Bramble found a new
mum in Sophie when she went to live at
a bird of prey rescue centre.

The unlikely pair have become inseparable
and Sophie even gives Bramble a
daily wash by licking her.

Bramble likes the attention so much she
now insists on flying to Sophie
to be spruced up.

Sharon Bindon, 43, who runs the centre at Liskeard,
Cornwall, said: "When Bramble arrived she had no
feathers and had to be kept in the house. On her
first day Sophie cleaned her as they sat on the
settee. Every day since Bramble has had to be
let out of her cage to be washed. She has
the cleanest beak and feathers
in the country."

NICE COLOURS (AND FACE)

OF THE DAY

The lillies have burst into bloom
in the garden...

And look at the face on Geraldinho! Aaaah-h!
She was lounging about on the lawn today and
managed to scare Fats who came out for the
first time this year on her own accord but
didn't see G in the tall grass at first.

When she did it was quick march back indoors...
but she did reappear after a while and found
herself a sunny spot next to a tree (below.

STEALING THE
SHOW

Today was Trooping The Colour in honour
of the Queen's Official Birthday.

In danger of stealing the whole show was an
absolutely gorgeous Irish Wolfhound
called Clonmel, who's the regimental
mascot of the Irish Guards.

A soldier from Portadown, Lance Corporal Samuel
Vennard, 23, was leading the 1st Battalion.
He joined the Army in 2002 and is the handler
of the three year old hound. The dog has been
with the battalion just over a year.

The pair were be at the head of the parade
marching in front of the band.

"I’m looking forward to it. It’s a real honour to
be at the head of the battalion and it’s not
something that happens too often in the
career of a soldier so it’s something to
remember for the rest of my life,”
Samuel said the day before.

"When he’s on parade he’s calm but once he
gets his combat jacket on and is on camp he
likes to roll around and play about. This is
his first Queens birthday so hopefully
everything goes alright and he doesn't
lie down or look about," he
said of the gentle giant.

IT'S A BIG 'UN

I've been eating own grown strawberries for
about three weeks now and they're just
getting bigger and bigger!

Look at the jumbo one I found
today (middle pic)!

The parsley (bottom pic) has grown nicely as
well, whereas the chives have struggled. I don't
know what I'm doing wrong: they were new
seeds, planted as per instructions...oh well.
I've just put some new ones in,
we'll see how those get on.

SUNSET OF
THE WEEK

CZECH IT OUT!

KB has 3 paid holiday days left this year so we
put our thinking caps on, looked into our
wallets and a plan was hatched.

Expedia were doing a great deal as
usual...3 nights for £165 all in...

So...We're off to Prague in November!
I've always wanted go, have had the guide
books for years and I can't wait!
I'm hodně šťastný!

INDIFFEERENCE

MILLIONTH

A US web monitoring firm has declared the
millionth English word to be Web 2.0, a term
for the latest generation of web
products and services.

Global Language Monitor (GLM) searches
the internet for newly coined terms, and
once a word or phrase has been used
25,000 times, it recognises it.

GLM said Web 2.0 beat out the terms Jai ho,
N00b and slumdog to take top spot.

On a personal note the word or rather a saying I
can't stand at the moment is "to rock up".

I first heard it in Australian TV series but it
has now made it's way to Eastenders and
other English programs...and it just doesn't
go. It's naff and sounds silly.
No thanks. Rock off.

HATS OFF TO WEARING
...HATS

Hugh Jackman has been named celebrity hat wearer
of the year, but it wasn't long ago that hats were
part of every self-respecting man's daily attire.
What leads a man to wear a hat today?

Cast a glance over a photograph of a crowd or a
street 100 or even 50 years ago. Take a look
at the men assembled and most
of them are wearing a hat.

Up until the 1960s, most men would have no
more left the house without a hat than
they would without trousers.

You can read the rest of
this article
here

ASPERATUS

A cloudspotter from Somerset believes he
has identified a new type of cloud.

Gavin Pretor-Pinney, from Somerton, who
also founded the Cloud Appreciation Society,
wants recognition for what he has
named the asperatus cloud.

He said: "It looks quite violent - as if you
are looking up from underneath the
turbulent surface of the sea."

Mr Pretor-Pinney asked his cousin - who is a Latin
teacher - for a word that means choppy or
turbulent that is used to describe the sea to
name the cloud after. "Asperatus comes
from the Latin verb aspero meaning 'to
roughen up' or 'agitate'," he said.

Mr Pretor-Pinney said the pictures were sent in
by cloud society members from all over the
world and some of them said there was no
storm activity or heavy precipitation
in the area at the time.

He said: "We need to look into this some more
and I am speaking with the Royal Meteorological
Society to do that. There has been no change
to the classifications of clouds since 1953
and maybe this should be considered now."

Clouds are classified by a committee of
experts from the World Meteorological
Organization (WMO) based
in Switzerland.

A STAR IS BORN

When the world's most powerful laser facility
flicks the switch on its first full-scale
experiments later this month, a tiny
star will be born on Earth.

The National Ignition Facility (NIF) in
California aims to demonstrate the feasibility
of nuclear fusion, the reaction at the heart of
the Sun and a potentially abundant,
clean energy source for the planet.

But whilst many eyes at the facility will be
locked on the goal of satisfying humanity's
energy demands, many scientists hope to
answer other fundamental
questions for mankind.

You can read the rest
of the article
here

THE SINGULAR

One of my all time favourite artists,
the King Of the Synth, Thomas Dolby,
has a new compilation album out.

Of course I already have all of the tracks on other
CD's but this one was a must purchase: it comes
with a DVD of all of his video hits!

They're available for the first time in DVD
format so this is a great buy
for any fan of 80's pop.

Recommended!

If you're not familiar with his stuff, here's a
couple of videos I made to get you started:

Flying North
and
Weightless

BATMAN

RETURN OF THE
WANDLE VOLES

This is great news!

Water voles could return to a south London river
where they once flourished after
volunteers cleaned it up.

The River Wandle (which runs trough Colliers Wood
where we live) was abundant with water voles
until it was officially declared
a sewer in the 1960s.

The London Wildlife Trust cleaned the river after a
study found it could once again be made habitable
for the voles, whose numbers have dwindled.

The trust's Emily Brennan said water voles could
return to the "thriving" river by 2012. The water
vole is Britain's fastest declining mammal,
whose numbers have fallen by 95% over the
past century, Miss Brennan said.

Their "catastrophic" decline was due to their
loss of habitat and attacks by American mink,
she said.The trust aims to save the voles by
creating and enhancing habitat for
them to move into.

Last month it was given £58,000 by conservation
group Natural England to assess whether water
voles could be reintroduced to the Wandle.

Volunteers subsequently cleared rubbish and
invasive plant species from the 14km (8.7 mile)
river, which starts at Croydon and joins
the River Thames at Wandsworth.

LEGO AT THE
MOVIES

Check out these weird and wonderful
Lego movie posters!

KEYBOARD CAT IN
CATCERTO

A rescue cat from New Jersey that enjoys playing the
piano has had a piece of chamber music written
for her by acclaimed Lithuanian conductor.

Nora's musical skills have made her a Youtube
sensation, US media star and the object
of a video on animal behaviour.

Mindaugas Piecaitis's four-minute piece for the
Klaipeda chamber orchestra had its premiere
on Friday, with a video of the six-year-old
feline soloist in the background.

LITUUS LOST
NO MORE

New software has enabled researchers to recreate
a long forgotten musical instrument
called the Lituus.

The 2.7m (8.5ft) long trumpet-like instrument fell
out of use some 300 years ago. Researchers from
the University of Edinburgh carried out the study,
which was funded by the Engineering and Physical
Sciences Research Council (EPSRC).

Until now, no one had a clear idea of what this
instrument looked or sounded like. But there
are several depictions of similar instruments
being played throughout
Europe for centuries.

The team at Edinburgh University developed
a system that enabled them to design the
Lituus from the best guesses of its
shape and range of notes.

LITTLE BOOKS

Some of the world's best known books have been
condensed down to Twitter size. Tim Collins,
author of The Little Book Of Twitter, has
transformed them into 140 characters.

They include Shakespeare's Hamlet which becomes:
'Danish guy's mum marries his murdered father's
brother. He sees his dad's ghost.
Everyone dies. Fail.'

Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens, is rewritten
as: 'Orphan given £££ by secret follower. He
thinks it's @misshavisham but it turns
out to be @magwitch.'

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte becomes
the pithy: 'Catherine Earnshaw marries Edgar
Linton but really loves Heathcliff *sigh*.'

James Joyce's Ulysses is reduced to: 'Man walks
around Dublin. We follow every minute detail
of his day. He's probably overtweeting.'

Collins has also had a go at some modern
best-sellers like Dan Brown's The Da Vince Code:
'Professor of symbology tries to solve a murder
by following clues around touristy locations
in Europe. Very few paragraphs
are longer than tweets.'

And he cleverly manages to transform both
Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice and Helen
Fielding's Bridget Jones' Diary
into the same 18 words.

They are: 'Woman meets man called Darcy
who seems horrible. He turns out to be
nice really. They get together.'

FUNNY

One of my favourite comedians, Michael McIntyre,
has a new series on BBC1 called
Comedy Roadshow.

Although only on compere duties he manages
to fill the gaps between the acts with his own
witty observations about everyday life.
So simple yet very funny.

The first episode was filmed in Edinburgh.
He started the show with a little detection
how the Scots are "tremendously patriotic"
and take things that aren't Scottish
and make them Scottish.

"For example eggs. Put a bit of breadcrumbs on it.
That's a Scotch egg. Tape? Put some tartan
packaging on it. That's Scotch tape!"

He carried on: "Play some hopscotch, dip them
(the eggs!) in butterscotch. Read The Scotsman,
have a glass of scotch, get on the Flying Scotsman,
head down to London. Chat up a Scottish widow on
the train, break into the Royal Bank Of Scotland
and after an investigation from Scotland
Yard ... get off scot-free !"

And all of that done in a mock Scottish
accent of course. Brilliant!

SUNSET OF
THE WEEK

NICE SUMMER COLOURS
OF THE DAY

BIRDBATH

Clean water in two bowls. No?
Bird bath water is better!

Geraldinho and the other visiting cats prefer
to drink water that's been sitting out for days
in the birdbath rather than from the two
bowls we have put out for them
and freshen up daily.

Cat logic? I think so!

STRAWBERRIES

The super hot weather in the beginning of the week
did the world of good for the strawberries.

They have sprung to life in their dozens and look
at the size of them! KB has been sneaking
plant food on them every time she has
watered the nearby spuds...

...and it seems to have made them bigger than usual.
I've already had a couple and they are
lot tastier than shop bought!

HATTIFATTENERS

The latest addition to my ever expanding
Muumin mug collection is
a Hattifatteners one.

It was bought for me by Tommi, THANK YOU!
I said last year that I was going to stop collecting
the mugs as I'm simply running out of space
(I now have 21!) but when I saw this new one at
Helsinki airport in March I had to have it!

According to the official Moomin site the HattiFatteners
"cannot be seen one by one. They are wandering
group-beings who care about nothing else but
reaching the horizon. They can neither speak
or hear, but can see extremely well. They are
decent enough in their way, but during
thunderstorms they turn electric
and should be avoided."

I also got Moomin presents from Tommi's mum
Tuula. She knows my tastes so well! She
sent me a couple of cute towels.
THANK YOU TUULA!

TO THE BARRIER

AND BACK

Having lived over here for over 20 years I've seen
most of London's tourist sights a thousand times.
It was also the 10th visit to the UK for
my friend Tommi from Finland, so it
was time for something new.

A while ago I noticed an article about Flying Fish Tours
in one of the freebie papers you get on the Tube and
suggested it to Tommi. We both agreed it would be
more fun to bomb up and down the Thames in a jet
boat than go on a usual, rather boring river cruise.

The route

Plus speedboats are my favourites, I love being on lakes
(a bit difficult to avoid them growing up in Finland !)
and the sea. I also love fishing and I've had an
outboard motor ever since I was kid. My dad
also had a fast boat on the Finnish Gulf.

Yesterday dawned with glorious blue skies and we
made our way to St Katherine's Pier
next to the Tower Of London.

Our pilot and guide for the day were Glen and Michael.
We were in safe hands as Glen is actually the chap
who taught Daniel Craig the boat scenes in the
latest Bond film, Quantum Of Solace.

The route takes you from Tower Bridge to the
Thames Barrier and back in just under an hour.
Along the way we stopped at the O2 Arena
(The Millenium Dome), Greenwich and a few other
spots for five minute breaks while Michael
told us a little bit about each place of interest.

The starting point St Katherine's Pier

He was funny, peppering the info with interesting facts
and trivia, some of which he makes up just for a giggle.
Like the "fact" that if you turned the Dome upside
down you could fit 80 million litres of beer
into it! (Or was it 800 million...)

You can tell these guys really love what they do,
although he must do the same spiel dozens of
times a week it doesn't sound fake but like he
was telling it for the first time!

The boat weaves in and out of waves, sometimes
you get a bit of a spray but on a day like yesterday
(25 C) you're dry in no time. Not so good for the
old digi camera though so watch out!

The guys do check if people mind getting a bit wet,
any objections and it won't happen. Michael was
telling us about a stag party the day before and
apparently they requested a soaking ...
that's exactly what they got!

The trip is great fun, I could've carried on all day.
If you're looking to do something a bit unusual
away from the been there done that touristy
stuff, this is the way to go. Recommended!

Here are some shots from along the way.
Please click on the images
to view larger versions.

Above: our guide Michael and
pilot Glen (at the back).

Above bottom row, left: Antony Gormley's
sculpture Quantum Cloud
next to the Dome.

Above bottom row, left: One of the original
ferries across the Mersey, the sadly dilapidated
Royal Iris sits on the bank of the
river awaiting her fate.

Above: Old Royal Naval College
at the riverfront in Greenwich.

PS: For those not used to boating it's worth pointing
out that they normally have a safe and easy
access mooring spot at St Katherine's Pier but
unfortunately yesterday some idiot left their
boat in the FF's usual place, hence the
rather precarious looking boarding
procedure in the top photo.

GREETINGS FROM
KENT

My friend Tommi from Finland flew over on
Saturday and yesterday we hopped on a train
to Lower Upnor in Kent to go to my friends
Heidi and Malcolm's barbecue.

All of sorts of merriment ensued with the aid
of dubious quantities of alcoholic beverages
and the volume button was completely lost
before the sun had even had a change to set.

(Please click on the images
to view larger versions.)

Above from the left: Caroline, Tommi,
Dawn, Gary, Malcolm.

Above from left: Dawn, Gary,
Heidi, Caroline, Tommi.

Later in the evening it was time for their dog
Hurli's walk (below) so me, Heidi and
Tommi went up the hill to the
woods behind their house.

We also popped down to the riverfront (below)
which is just a few yards from their house.

Our wonderful hosts Heidi
and Malcolm (above).

H and M had made us a Tiramisu cake for afters
(straight out of a box!) (above and below).
Dawn was "mother".

Something was obviously very funny!
Heidi and Caroline in action (below).

SPRING BREAK

I'm going to sign off now until the beginning
of June for a bit of a spring break.

Tommi's flying over from Finland on Saturday and
I'll be a busy bee playing tourist with him for the
following week so I've got to save
some energy for that.

Back soon!

SOMEWHERE OVER
THE RAINBOW

Last night I was watching telly in bed and all
of a sudden the sky went really dark and
this amazing rainbow appeared.

This picture is from our front door
towards Mitcham in the south.

IT'S A NORSK
FAIRYTALE

And the winner is....Norway!

Alexander Rybak took the lead with his own
composition "Fairytale" from early on and in
the end won with the biggest score ever, 387,
overtaking the previous points monster,
Finnish winner Lordi's haul of 292 in 2006.

UK's Jade came fifth with 173 points and Finland
joint last with Lithuania, both scoring only
22 points. I'm not surprised at all,
the Finnish song was utter shite!

My personal favourite of the evening
was Malta's Chiara with the
beautiful What If We.

The Unintentionally Funniest Lyrics first price
of the night goes to Svetlana Loboda of Ukraine.
She declared that she is our "anti-crisis girl"!

The intermission show was spectacular (below):
massive swimming pools hanging from the
ceiling with girls thrashing about being
lowered towards the crowd so they could
touch the see-through bottom!

As the evenings UK host Graham Norton put it
"the Moscow show is of an enormous scale
and it's doubtful if we'll ever see
anything like it again."

He also said that "this is the year music came
back to the Eurovision" after so many years
in the political voting wilderness. There was
a bit of it going on tonight as well with almost
every country voting for their neighbours but
Norway's win proves that bringing in the
expert judges votes (as well as the audience
phone votes) made a difference. It
seemed to be more about the music.

All in all an enjoyable show. So,
start building the set in Oslo,
Eurovision is a coming!

I'm in love
With a fairytale
Even though it hurts
'Cause I don't care
If I loose my mind
I'm already cursed

DOING IT

THE HUMANS

As my regular readers know I'm a huge Toyah fan.
The whirlwind that is Ms Willcox is now also
a part of a group called The Humans with
her guitarist Chris Wong and
Bill Rieflin of R.E.M.

They've just released their debut album
We Are The Humans.

I wasn't too sure about the whole project when
I first heard snippets of the songs on MySpace
but having listened the whole album and
the tracks in full a few times...I'm loving it!

Toyah's voice is superb and even though I'm
not usually too keen on artsy fartsy musical
landscapes and tracks that seem to go
nowhere for some reason this album
speaks to me. It's beautiful, surprising,
even fragile in places. Recommended.

EUROVISION

Tomorrow is Moscows turn to host
the 54th Eurovision Song Contest.

It should've been called The Eastern Block Song
Contest years ago as there is no way another
country apart from our friends in the
old Soviet countries will ever win again.

It has lost its appeal somewhat but I will
be watching as usual simply
beacause it's so naff!

Also another reason to tune is to hear Graham Norton
in action for the first time, he has taken the
reigns as the UK commentator after Sir Terry of
Wogan had enough and retired.

And the songs? I did like Montenegro (below top)
but sadly she didn't make it past the second
Semi. Out the finalists I like the Maltese
(below bottom) entry.

Less said about the abysmal Finnish entry
(above middle) the better....not
that the UK one is any better!

NICE SUMMER PIC
OF THE DAY

STUFF

Check out these two sites
www.stuffonmycat.com and
www.stuffonmymutt.com.

They do exactly what it says on the tin:
cats and dogs covered with everything
from toilet seats to tarot cards.

Great sites for wasting time. And yes,
the pets are probably very pissed off!

AMELIE

WARNING: CONTAINS
PLOT SPOILER

I'm not a great fan of artsy fartsy films, especially
foreign ones so when I watched the 2001 French
Amélie the other night I was in for a surprise!

It was funny, warm, well acted and
a great little story. Recommended!

Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain is a film
about an extremely imaginative young girl,
Amelie (Audrey Tautou), who has a
very isolated upbringing.

The film begins by explaining what happened to
her as a child and then moves on to see
her moving into her own flat and
her first job as a waitress.

The story is jazzed up by Amelie's ways of
dealing with things. She meets a man, Nino
Quincampoix (Mathieu Kassovitz),
and plays a game with him.

He's lost one of his photo albums which she finds.
Instead of simply returning it she does it
in a unique manner because she
is too shy to talk to him.

The viewer is bombarded with trivial yet
sweet information on the arrival of any
new character, the interesting subplots
throughout, and the strange thoughts
and weird antics of Amelie herself.

JOURNEY

Did you know you are African? No, really.
It might come as a huge surprise
but in fact we all are.

I'm loving a new series on BBC Two
about the origins of humans.

In the Incredible Human Journey Dr Alice Roberts
travels the globe to discover the amazing story
our species. In the ultimate travel story,
Dr Roberts crosses the globe to find out how
our ancestors colonised the planet.

She examines bones, stones and the latest
scientific theories to discover how one small
group of people left Africa, their descendents
crossing deserts, oceans and mountains,
surviving an Ice Age and overcoming
the Neanderthals to populate
every part of the world.

On the way she also examines how our skin
colour and other distinctive features
evolved across each of the continents
to produce the global diversity
of peoples today.

SUNSET OF
THE WEEK

NO REGRETS

MISQUOTES

A comment supposedly made by Darth Vader
to Luke Skywalker in the Star Wars trilogy
has topped a list of phrases most
often misquoted by film fans.

The words "Luke, I am your father" are familiar to
millions of fans of the George Lucas films. They
are widely believed to have been uttered by Darth
Vader when he confronts Luke Skywalker
in the Empire Strikes Back - but in fact
they do not feature in the film.

Second place in the poll was taken by Snow White
and the Seven Dwarfs, with the evil Queen's
quote 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall -
who is the fairest of them all?'.

The actual line begins
'Magic Mirror, on the wall'.

In third place in the poll of 1,500 film fans,
by LOVEFiLM.com, was Dirty Harry -
played by Clint Eastwood - saying
"Do you feel lucky, punk?"

In fact, he says "Do I feel lucky?
Well, do ya punk?"

And while "Play it again Sam" may be forever
linked with Casablanca, Humphrey Bogart's
actual line is "You played it for her, you
can play it for me. If she can stand
it, I can. Play it!"

Fifth was Hannibal Lector in Silence of the
Lambs, who did not say "Hello Clarice" but
instead said "Good evening, Clarice".

Star Trek's Captain Kirk did not say "Beam
me up, Scotty", with the closest he ever
came to this phrase was a less pithy
"Scotty, beam us up".

Darren Bignell, Communications Manager
for LOVEFiLM, said: "Iconic film lines are
part of everyone's vocabulary these days,
but it's interesting how years of quoting
have had a Chinese whisper
effect on accuracy."

The Top Ten Movie Misquotes (below
in misquoted form) were as follows:

1. "Luke, I am your father" - Star Wars V:
The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

2. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest
of them all?" - Snow White and
the Seven Dwarfs (1937)

3. "Do you feel lucky, punk?" -
Dirty Harry (1971)

4. "Play it again, Sam" -
Casablanca (1942)

5. "Hello, Clarice" - Silence
of the Lambs (1991)

6. "Beam me up, Scotty!" - Star Trek:
The Motion Picture (1979)

7. "Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn" -
Gone with the Wind (1939)

8. "If you build it, they will come" -
Field of Dreams (1989)

9. "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore,
Toto" - The Wizard of Oz (1939)

10. "Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to
seduce me?" - The Graduate (1967)

PENGUINS AND
SOAP

A German mathematician loved the cartoon series
Pingu so much that she started collecting
everything penguin-related.

With over 7000 items in her collection Birgit Berends
(below top photo) is now a Guiness World
Record holder and has opened a penguin
museum in the historical "pilots
quarter" in Cuxhaven.

While over here a pensioner from Birmingham
has collected more than 5,000 bars of
soap from all over the world.

Carol Vaughn, 65, from Sutton Coldfield, started
the impressive horde in 1991 and has
no plans of throwing in the towel.

Her hobby has seen her build up the haul
from all over the world and from as far afield
as Australia. She said she loves finding a new
soap she hasn't seen before and likes to find
ones that might seem unusual.

She added another 13 to the stash while she
was on holiday in Morocco celebrating
her 65th birthday in February.

"I wouldn't dream of actually using the soaps,
but I do wash regularly, I'm not a dirty
old woman," she added.

Adding that she did not know how much her
collection was worth, she said: "It would be
fun to have the collection valued, but I
don't think the Antiques Roadshow are
going to be giving me a
call any time soon."

HOMEMADE
HEROES

Superhero films are ten a penny now – most
recently we had Watchmen, a tale of a
group of masked vigilantes
taking on crooks.

Well, it might come as a surprise but
some caped crusaders are real.

Although not blessed with real superpowers,
these members of the Allegiance of Heroes –
who communicate on internet forums –
have their hearts in the right place.

Master Legend, (below on the left) from Florida,
says he can see demons and sprits, used
voodoo powers to fight evil and
had a witch for a mother.

The 42-year-old divides his time between distributing
food and medical supplies to the homeless –
and confronting child molesters, crack addicts,
rapists and murderers. "I know where to find
to look – the dangerous places where most
people would never really want to go,"
the masked man added.

His comrades in the US include The Ace,
Symbiote and the creatively-named superhero,
er, Superhero (above with Master
Legend from the left).

But before you scoff, note one man who has a
place in the pantheon of greats. New Orleans'
Nostrum claims to be 100 years
old and in his prime.

In fact, heroes abound all over the world.
Italy's crime-fighting detective Entomo
patrols the streets of Naples, while Hong
Kong's Red Arrow keeps the peace
in his country.

Entomo said: "Hear my buzz, fear
my bite: I inject justice."

In these troubled times, the world indeed needs
heroes - people to inspire, to lead and to fight
injustice. Fortunately, there’s a list
of these people on the internet.

The World Superhero Registry is a helpful guide
to the superheoes who patrol the streets -
ordinary people who have decided to take
a stand by dressing up in a costume and
giving themselves a cool name.

The costumed vigilantes range from Foxfire
(currently keeping Michigan safe) and Insignis
(Salt Lake City, Utah) to the less impressive
but probably more helpful Polar Man (who
shovels snow off people’s steps in Canada.)

The website also includes helpful advice on
how to register your crime-fighting persona
without giving away your real identity
(‘When addressing the envelope, do not
write the address by hand. Do not
include a return address.’)

Currently, the UK has a couple of superheroes listed
as protecting the country from supervillains -
Batman & Robin, who work in Whitley, and Red
Arrow, who’s on secondment from Hong
Kong. Regrettably, Britain’s other heroes -
Black Arrow and Angle-Grinder Man -
appear to have retired. This may,
potentially, leave us vulnerable
to supervillains.

NEW RESIDENT
LOUNGE LIZARD

Remember Geraldinho, the grey and white cat
that comes round for daily meals?

Well, she's started to come indoors now as well!
The other day I found her lounging about
on the landing upstairs.

But we don't mind- she's so cute and friendly!
It's nice to have a new resident lounge
lizard now that Gerald is no more.

We've agreed that come next winter we'll start
keeping her indoors at night when it gets cold
as she clearly has no home and we'd like
her to get used to living here.

OUT OF THE
CHAIR

WARNING: CONTAINS
PLOT SPOILERS

I'm not a sci-fi fan or a Trekkie at all.
I can take it or leave it.

This afternoon KB dragged me to Wimbledon
to see the new Star Trek film. I'm bloody glad
she did because it is absolutely brilliant!

This prequel which explains how it all came
about is funny, sad, there's plenty of action,
it's well acted and scripted so that even
non-Trekkies such as myself don't walk
out of the theatre going "er, what?"

The funniest bit of the film for me was when
Kirk, who is not supposed be onboard The
Enterprise in the first place, sits in
Captain Spock's place and without missing
a beat or even looking that way he says:
"Out of the chair" while walking past.

The only criticism I have is that Simon Pegg
(as Scotty) appears way too late in the film.
He's in it all of five minutes. But then with
a guaranteed profit of many millions
I'm sure a sequel is in the making.

CONCUSSION

OH TAMIFLU, WHAT
DID YOU DO?

Harry Houseago, 13, a pupil at Alleyn's school in
Dulwich, south London, which has closed
because of swine flu fears, has written a
song about Tamiflu, the anti-viral drug
issued to all students as a precaution.

Lying at home in my bed
When I should be having
maths instead

But they've closed up my school
'Cos some children were sneezing

And they got us believing
That we'll all be ill and
get the swine flu

The doctors gave us some pills
Saying "This is so you
won't get ill"

So stay at home
Study on your own

Oh Tamiflu, what did you do?
I was fine before you came along
And now I've got a pain
in my head

So I think I'd better stay in bed
I get to watch the TV
And no one bothers me

I fall asleep and wake up feeling queasy
And ev'rything's reeling,

It's not very pretty
I'll have to go ... to the loo again

I remember they gave us pills
Saying "This is so you won't get ill"

But now I know
This is worse than any cold

Oh Tamiflu, it's down to you
That I'm feeling slightly nauseous
And now I've got a pain in my head

So I think I'd better stay in bed

KNITTED BY
NANAS

My favourite cereal has probably the best TV
advert series of the last five years. Whoever
thought of this concept is a genius!

"In the Shreddies factory nanas knit
great taste into every square."

Quality controller Charles makes sure every
Shreddie is extra lovely. One of the nanas Ruth
(in the pink cardi) thinks "He's so hot!"

DRIVING MISS
DAISY

Remember the pony riding
Jack Russell Freddie ?

Well now the seven-year-old has taught fellow
Jack Russell Percy, who is one, to ride on the
back of a horse around fields on the
back of Shetland Pony Daisy.

Owner Patricia Swinley, 73, who runs a farm
in Flaxley, Glos, said: "Freddie was riding
Daisy one day when my friend Sally's Jack
Russell Percy jumped up there too".

"It seems Percy was really keen to imitate his older
friend. They tend to squabble when they're riding
together, so now we let them take it in turns.
Freddie is getting quite old now and can't leap
up there anymore, so we lift him on. Then Percy
has his go. He's very eager and jumps around
all over the place in excitement. But luckily
Daisy is used to it and doesn't mind."

Freddie and Percy also appear happy to ride
in a little cart as Daisy, who is just 37 inches
(94 cm) tall, pulls them around
the country lanes.

Patricia added: "Freddie became famous for
riding Daisy and local schoolchildren still
pop by the farm in the hope of seeing him.
But now it seems Percy has become
his very keen understudy."

Percy's owner, friend and neighbour Sally Jones, 39,
who keeps pedigree cattle said: "They both love
going in the cart. We call it 'Driving Miss Daisy!'
We get a lot of cars looking at us, a pony with
a trap and two dogs inside. We wouldn't do
it if they didn't like it, but they
all do, terriers and pony."

SUNSET OF
THE WEEK

COPY CAT

STOP IT

Oh for crying out loud!
Stop it now!

SAND

Bigger than three double decker buses and using
a whopping 300 tonnes of sand it would take
a big bucket to create this sandcastle.

The impressive fairytale-like fort, built by
Brit Paul Hoggard, measures 8m (26ft)
high and almost 24m (80ft) wide.

He built it with a team of ten international artists
to celebrate 20 years of sand art in the town
of Scheveningen, Holland, which was the first
European town to see a large-scale
sand art building.

It took Paul, 43, and his partner Remy, 38, seven
days to create the masterpiece. "Funnily enough
growing up I never really had chance to
go and build sandcastles like the
other kids," he said.

"Perhaps this is my way of making up for that.
This was certainly one of the biggest sand
castles I've made and it was really fun to see
everyone's faces when it was built."

Paul discovered sand art while on holiday in India
and now travels all over the world with Remy
to build sand sculptures. They've worked in
Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, UK,
Ireland, Bulgaria, Turkey, Canada,
USA, China and India.

NO BIRDBRAIN

"In the past, people thought birds were stupid, "
laments the aptly named scientist
Christopher Bird.

But in fact, some of our feathered friends
are far cleverer than we might think.

And one group in particular - the corvids -
has astonished scientists with extraordinary
feats of memory, an ability to employ complex
social reasoning and, perhaps most
strikingly, a remarkable aptitude for
crafting and using tools.

Mr Bird, who is based at the department of
zoology at Cambridge University , says:
"I would rate corvids as being as intelligent
as primates in many ways."

The corvids - a group that includes crows,
ravens, rooks, jackdaws, jays and
magpies - contain some of the most
social species of birds.

And some of their intelligence is played out
against the backdrop of living with others,
where being intelligent enough to recognize
individuals, to form alliances and
foster relationships is key.

Read the rest of this interesting
BBC article here.

147 YEARS

Aah, bless!

Chanel, the world's oldest dog, celebrated her
21st birthday yesterday with a certificate
from the Guinness Book of Records
and a visit to a dog hotel and spa.

The wire-haired Daschund from New York,
who is 147 in dog years, is in good health
but needs goggles to help
her poor eyesight.

Owner Denise Shaughnessy said: “She has to
wear the goggles because she has cataracts
and is very sensitive to the light.”

The retired Army Veteran, who adopted
Chanel when she was six-weeks-old, added:
“I take good care of her, I treat her just
like I would treat anybody, like
any family member.”

Chanel entered the record books as oldest
living dog last Spring. But even she hasn’t yet
beaten the world’s oldest ever dog Bluey.

The Australian cattle breed was born in
1910 and lived to the ripe old age
of 29.5 years (206 dog years).

WHY?

BRIGHT IDEAS

Check out these strange lamps!

I quite like the The Liquid Lamp and
Recycled Book Lamp (above.)

HIGH TIDE

Whatever next!?

Holidaymakers hoping to make a splash on
the beach this summer might want to track
down a pair of these striking shoes.

Known as High Tide Heels, they combine
the elegance of stiletto heels with the
swimming speed of flippers.

They could provide a fashionable alternative
for sun-seekers who don't want the hassle
of changing footwear every time they
cool off with dip in the sea.

The shoes were created by the Belgian artist
Paul Schietekat for an exhibition in 2006
but there are not thought to be any plans
to release them commercially.

MYTHS

The belief that goldfish have a memory span
of only three seconds is among a series of
myths which have been exposed
by the animal charity the PDSA.

Widely held ideas about dogs only being able
to see in black and white or that purring
means that a cat is content are also
misconceptions, according to the group.

Even the assumption that a dog wagging its
tail shows that it is happy is not
necessarily true, according
to research.

Among potentially dangerous misconceptions
is the idea that dogs will only eat as much
as they need, meaning that it should
not be possible to overfeed them

The notion of "dog breath" is also exposed
as a myth. Rather than being normal for a
dog, foul smelling breath could be a
sign of illness, the PDSA warned.

The idea that goldfish have a memory span
of only a few seconds was challenged by a
study which found they remember to avoid
an area of their tank associated with tiny
electronic shocks for at least 24 hours.

HOME MADE
LIGHTNING

Don't try this at home!

An Australian man who describes himself as
"a 50-something year old first year uni physics
dropout" has an unusual hobby - he
makes lightning in his shed.

Peter Terren has been experimenting with
Tesla coils for 35 years.

The Tesla coil was invented by scientist Nikola Tesla
around 1891 and was used commercially in sparkgap
radio transmitters for wireless telegraphy until
the 1920's as well as electrotherapy.

REWIND TO
THE 80's

I for one never abandoned my C-tapes and am
still a great fan with a massive collection
so I'm glad their making a return!

Audio cassettes, which were cast aside in the
digital revolution by the arrival of Compact
Discs and internet downloads,
are making a comeback.

Demand for blank audio cassettes has soared
as music fans return to the analogue
sound of the C60 and C90 tape for
listening to tracks.

Nostalgia for the richer sound of cassette tapes
could see a revival similar to that enjoyed
by vinyl records that were once
displaced by the CD.

Worldwide sales of audio tapes slumped by 60 per
cent during the 1990s, forcing manufacturers
such as Maxell and TDK to slim down their
ranges while Philips, which launched
the first tape in 1963, ceased
production altogether.

Original blank cassettes from the late 1980s
and early 1990s are now fetching up to £22.50
each on internet auction sites amid demand
from devotees for rare and high-quality
tapes such as the discontinued
TDK MA-XG 90 or the Sony UX Pro 90.

"There has been a resurgence, partly driven
by the high-end music purists market and
partly because of what you might call the
'silent majority' of people who still have a
cassette player in their kitchen or their
car," said David Price, editor of
Hi-Fi World magazine.

"It is about the quality of sound with an analogue
recording which is so much richer than the
very flat digital sound you get in an iPod."

"Personal stereo cassette players were remarkably
good quality. I have an old Sony Walkman
that must have cost about £30 in Boots,
and the sweet sound is better than
I could get in an iPod."

HAPPY
WALPURGIS!

Happy Vappu! (Walpurgis Day)

Or May Day depending
where you are!

Whilst the Finns get drunk, wear their High School
graduation caps (mine is collecting dust in a
wardrobe in my dad's house), frolic about in
fountains and eat the cakes impersonating
brains, tippaleipä, I shall celebrate by ...
doing bugger all!

SPEED ON
THE RIVER

My friend Tommi is coming over from Finland
for his annual visit in a few weeks time.

He wanted to go on a Thames cruise
but I've booked us to do this instead!

The jet boat leaves from St Katharine's Pier
next to the Tower and the hour long trip
takes us (the potential James Bond's!)
to the Thames Barrier and back.

Judgind by the video on the company's
website it's going to be fun!

CREATIVE

Check out these creative escalator ads.
I particularly like the hair one!

LIST

KOFI COMES
HOME

Aah, what a nice story!

When Sarah and Ian Hawley's beloved moggy
Kofi went missing from their Nottingham
home three years ago, they feared
they would never see him again.

But against all the odds and in an amazing
twist, Kofi somehow made the 140-mile
(225 km) journey to Ipswich and thanks
to help from the RSCPA, has now
been reunited with his owners.

The couple, who now live outside Rotherham,
first got Kofi and his brother, Ted, from an
RSPCA rescue centre when they were
just nine months old but in
2006 Kofi disappeared.

A member of the public in Ipswich recently
reported a stray and he was picked
up by an RSPCA inspector.

As he was micro-chipped, they were able
to trace the owners and the happy
reunion took place over
the Easter holiday.

Mrs Hawley said:“I was amazed when I got
the call to say Kofi had been found in Suffolk.
We had given up hope of seeing him again.
He seems happy and we will gradually
reintroduce him to his brother Ted once
he's settled back in. I am so pleased he
was microchipped as otherwise he really
would have been missing forever.”

She added that when he was found he
was skinny and full of scabs but now
he is eating lots and running a
round looking very happy.

Mrs Hawley said: “I always thought he could still
be alive but I really didn't expect to see him again.
I don't know whether he jumped into a van
or was picked up by someone but
it's just good to have him back.”

MOOSICAL

The hills are alive with the sound of music
after an Alpine farmer compiled a CD
of his farm animals' favourite tunes.

Livestock expert Franz Köberl, 41, has been
serenading the animals on the family
farm in Birkfeld, Austria, with his
accordion for more than a decade.

Franz and his family, who all play instruments,
stage live concerts for the animals to help
with milk yield or to keep them calm.

"Whenever they see me coming over the
hill with my accordion, they come running
and gather around to listen to the tunes.
They prefer Strauss - although I and my
family would rather hear
Mozart," he explained.

"We found that Norma, Norli, Nanni and
the rest of the 20 cows have a clear
preference for classical music."

"In particular they seem to like the waltz. They
are more likely to be sitting down taking
the weight off their feet and obviously
enjoying the music whenever a waltz is
playing - and that also means they are
producing more milk," he added.

NO SWINES
HERE

Swine flu?
Not in the Jewish state.

"We will call it Mexico flu. We won't call it
swine flu," Deputy Health Minister Yakov
Litzman, a black-garbed Orthodox Jew, told
a news conference Monday, assuring the
Israeli public that authorities were
prepared to handle any cases.

Under Jewish dietary laws, pigs are considered
unclean and pork is forbidden food -
although the non-kosher meat is
available in some stores in Israel.